Females with Aspergers Non-Official Checklist
By Samantha Craft of Everyday Asperger’s, March 2012
This is a non-official checklist created by an adult female with Asperger’s Syndrome who has a son with Asperger’s Syndrome. Samantha Craft holds a Masters Degree in Education. Samantha Craft does not hold a doctorate in Psychiatry or Psychology. She has a life-credential as a result of being a female with Asperger’s Syndrome and being a parent of a child with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has created this list in an effort to assist mental health professionals in recognizing Asperger’s Syndrome in females.
Suggested Use: Check off all areas that strongly apply to the person. If each area has 75%-80% of the statements checked, or more, then you may want to consider that the female may have Asperger’s Syndrome.
Section A: Deep Thinkers
1. A deep thinker
2. A prolific writer drawn to poetry
3. Highly intelligent
4. Sees things at multiple levels including thinking processes.
5. Analyzes existence, the meaning of life, and everything continually.
6. Serious and matter-of-fact in nature.
7. Doesn’t take things for granted.
8. Doesn’t simplify.
9. Everything is complex.
10. Often gets lost in own thoughts and “checks out.” (blank stare)
Section B: Innocent
1. Naïve
2. Honest
3. Experiences trouble with lying.
4. Finds it difficult to understand manipulation and disloyalty.
5. Finds it difficult to understand vindictive behavior and retaliation.
6. Easily fooled and conned.
7. Feelings of confusion and being overwhelmed
8. Feelings of being misplaced and/or from another planet
9. Feelings of isolation
10. Abused or taken advantage of as a child but didn’t think to tell anyone.
Section C: Escape and Friendship
1. Survives overwhelming emotions and senses by escaping in thought or action.
2. Escapes regularly through fixations, obsessions, and over-interest in subjects.
3. Escapes routinely through imagination, fantasy, and daydreaming.
4. Escapes through mental processing.
5. Escapes through the rhythm of words.
6. Philosophizes continually.
7. Had imaginary friends in youth.
8. Imitates people on television or in movies.
9. Treated friends as “pawns” in youth, e.g., friends were “students,” “consumers,” “soldiers.”
10. Makes friends with older or younger females.
11. Imitates friends or peers in style, dress, and manner.
12. Obsessively collects and organizes objects.
13. Mastered imitation.
14. Escapes by playing the same music over and over.
15. Escapes through a relationship (imagined or real).
16. Numbers bring ease.
17. Escapes through counting, categorizing, organizing, rearranging.
18. Escapes into other rooms at parties.
19. Cannot relax or rest without many thoughts.
20. Everything has a purpose.
Section D: Comorbid Attributes
1. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
2. Sensory Issues (sight, sound, texture, smells, taste)
3. Generalized Anxiety
4. Sense of pending danger or doom
5. Feelings of polar extremes (depressed/over-joyed; inconsiderate/over-sensitive)
6. Poor muscle tone, double-jointed, and/or lack in coordination
7. Eating disorders, food obsessions, and/or worry about what is eaten.
8. Irritable bowel and/or intestinal issues
9. Chronic fatigue and/or immune challenges
10. Misdiagnosed or diagnosed with other mental illness and/or labeled hypochondriac.
11. Questions place in the world.
12. Often drops small objects
13. Wonders who she is and what is expected of her.
14. Searches for right and wrong.
15. Since puberty, has had bouts of depression.
16. Flicks/rubs fingernails, flaps hands, rubs hands together, tucks hands under or between legs, keeps closed fists, and/or clears throat often.
Section E: Social Interaction
1. Friends have ended friendship suddenly and without person understanding why.
2. Tendency to over-share.
3. Spills intimate details to strangers.
4. Raised hand too much in class or didn’t participate in class.
5. Little impulse control with speaking when younger.
6. Monopolizes conversation at times.
7. Bring subject back to self.
8. Comes across at times as narcissistic and controlling. (Is not narcissistic.)
9. Shares in order to reach out.
10. Sounds eager and over-zealous at times.
11. Holds a lot of thoughts, ideas, and feelings inside.
12. Feels as if she is attempting to communicate “correctly.”
13. Obsesses about the potentiality of a relationship with someone, particularly a love interest.
14. Confused by the rules of accurate eye contact, tone of voice, proximity of body, stance, and posture in conversation.
15. Conversation can be exhausting.
16. Questions the actions and behaviors of self and others, continually.
17. Feels as if missing a conversation “gene” or thought-“filter”
18. Trained self in social interactions through readings and studying of other people.
19. Visualizes and practices how she will act around others.
20. Practices in mind what she will say to another before entering the room.
21. Difficulty filtering out background noise when talking to others.
22. Has a continuous dialogue in mind that tells her what to say and how to act when in a social situations.
23. Sense of humor sometimes seems quirky, odd, or different from others.
24. As a child, it was hard to know when it was her turn to talk.
25. She finds norms of conversation confusing.
Section F: Finds Refuge when Alone
1. Feels extreme relief when she doesn’t have to go anywhere, talk to anyone, answer calls, or leave the house.
2. One visitor at the home may be perceived as a threat.
3. Knowing logically a house visitor is not a threat, doesn’t relieve the anxiety.
4. Feelings of dread about upcoming events and appointments on the calendar.
5. Knowing she has to leave the house causes anxiety from the moment she wakes up.
6. All the steps involved in leaving the house are overwhelming and exhausting to think about.
7. She prepares herself mentally for outings, excursions, meetings, and appointments.
8. Question next steps and movements continually.
9. Telling self the “right” words and/or positive self-talk doesn’t often alleviate anxiety.
10. Knowing she is staying home all day brings great peace of mind.
11. Requires a large amount of down time or alone time.
12. Feels guilty after spending a lot of time on a special interest.
13. Uncomfortable in public locker rooms, bathrooms, and/or dressing rooms.
14. Dislikes being in a crowded mall, crowded gym, or crowded theater.
Section G: Sensitive
1. Sensitive to sounds, textures, temperature, and/or smells when trying to sleep.
2. Adjusts bedclothes, bedding, and/or environment in an attempt to find comfort.
3. Dreams are anxiety-ridden, vivid, complex, and/or precognitive in nature.
4. Highly intuitive to others’ feelings.
5. Takes criticism to heart.
6. Longs to be seen, heard, and understood.
7. Questions if she is a “normal” person.
8. Highly susceptible to outsiders’ viewpoints and opinions.
9. At times adapts her view of life or actions based on others’ opinions or words.
10. Recognizes own limitations in many areas daily.
11. Becomes hurt when others question or doubt her work.
12. Views many things as an extension of self.
13. Fears others opinions, criticism, and judgment.
14. Dislikes words and events that hurt animals and people.
15. Collects or rescues animals. (often in childhood)
16. Huge compassion for suffering.
17. Sensitive to substances. (environmental toxins, foods, alcohol, etc.)
18. Tries to help, offers unsolicited advice, or formalizes plans of action.
19. Questions life purpose and how to be a “better” person.
20. Seeks to understand abilities, skills, and/or gifts.
Section H: Sense of Self
1. Feels trapped between wanting to be herself and wanting to fit in.
2. Imitates others without realizing.
3. Suppresses true wishes.
4. Exhibits codependent behaviors.
5. Adapts self in order to avoid ridicule.
6. Rejects social norms and/or questions social norms.
7. Feelings of extreme isolation.
8. Feeling good about self takes a lot of effort and work.
9. Switches preferences based on environment and other people.
10. Switches behavior based on environment and other people.
11. Didn’t care about her hygiene, clothes, and appearance before teenage years and/or before someone else pointed these out to her.
12. “Freaks out” but doesn’t know why until later.
13. Young sounding voice
14. Trouble recognizing what she looks like and/or has occurrences of slight prosopagnosia (difficulty recognizing or remembering faces).
Section I: Confusion
1. Had a hard time learning others are not always honest.
2. Feelings seem confusing, illogical, and unpredictable. (self’s and others’)
3. Confuses appointment times, numbers, or dates.
4. Expects that by acting a certain way certain results can be achieved, but realizes in dealing with emotions, those results don’t always manifest.
5. Spoke frankly and literally in youth.
6. Jokes go over the head.
7. Confused when others ostracize, shun, belittle, trick, and betray.
8. Trouble identifying feelings unless they are extreme.
9. Trouble with emotions of hate and dislike.
10. Feels sorry for someone who has persecuted or hurt her.
11. Personal feelings of anger, outrage, deep love, fear, giddiness, and anticipation seem to be easier to identify than emotions of joy, satisfaction, calmness, and serenity.
12. Situations and conversations sometimes perceived as black or white.
13. The middle spectrum of outcomes, events, and emotions is sometimes overlooked or misunderstood. (All or nothing mentality)
14. A small fight might signal the end of a relationship or collapse of world.
15. A small compliment might boost her into a state of bliss.
Section J: Words and Patterns
1. Likes to know word origins.
2. Confused when there is more than one meaning to a word.
3. High interest in songs and song lyrics.
4. Notices patterns frequently.
5. Remembers things in visual pictures.
6. Remembers exact details about someone’s life.
7. Has a remarkable memory for certain details.
8. Writes or creates to relieve anxiety.
9. Has certain “feelings” or emotions towards words.
10. Words bring a sense of comfort and peace, akin to a friendship.
(Optional) Executive Functioning This area isn’t always as evident as other areas
1. Simple tasks can cause extreme hardship.
2. Learning to drive a car or rounding the corner in a hallway can be troublesome.
3. New places offer their own set of challenges.
4. Anything that requires a reasonable amount of steps, dexterity, or know-how can rouse a sense of panic.
5. The thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something can cause anxiety.
6. Mundane tasks are avoided.
7. Cleaning may seem insurmountable at times.
8. Many questions come to mind when setting about to do a task.
9. Might leave the house with mismatched socks, shirt buttoned incorrectly, and/or have dyslexia.
10. A trip to the grocery store can be overwhelming.
11. Trouble copying dance steps, aerobic moves, or direction in a sports gym class.
12. Has a hard time finding certain objects in the house, but remembers with exact clarity where other objects are.
This list was compiled after nine years of readings, research, and experience associated with Asperger’s Syndrome. More information can be found at http://aspergersgirls.wordpress.com © Everyday Aspergers, 2012 This non-official checklist can be printed for therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, professors, teachers, and relatives, if Samantha Craft’s name and contact information remain on the print out.
Other Useful Links by Sam Craft:
116 Reasons I Know I have Aspergers
Another Important List of Traits
1o Myths About Females With Aspergers
To all my readers who don’t have Asperger’s and read my blog for other reasons than Aspergers, thanks for all of your support!
It’s me: as a child, as a girl, as a young woman, as I am now. So much of this applies. Thanks.
You are so very welcome!
Much joy to you!
Thank you so much for writing this blog, i don’t feel like a stranger on an alien planet thanks to you. I’d also like very much to join the facebook group that you shared, it looks like it’s invite only though.
Thanks for the thought provoking list. I could check off practically everything!
Bruce ~ I appreciate that feedback. Thanks very much.
This list is so helpful! Now I know that I’m not alone with my quirks.
Thanks Nicky. You are not alone!
Thanks so much Samantha. I’m printing this off right now. You are so sweet for doing this. I’m going to share on fb and twitter too:-)
You are welcome
Thank you! In many ways you describe meto a “t”
Saving this for the future. While it’s true no two Aspies are alike, I can certainly say yes to a number of these. Really enjoyed it.
Yes, no two aspies are alike. You are right! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the comment.
Actually, we’re all more alike than we are unalike: if this were not so, we could never get a diagnosis. That’s how diagnostic instruments and criteria work.
I have some issues with this list. It is a very interesting list of things, but there is a problem with it. This is because we need to know that any inferences we make on the basis of results from this instrument are correct: this would be a validation study. This needs knowledge that it is reliable: this warrants a reliability study. It would also need a serious cross-matching between the items on this list and those on existing checklists and also a check against (at least) Gillberg’s criteria and possibly Tantam’s adult-dx criteria as well.
I’m not bashing this: we’re in serious need of some sort of instrument that will enable us to redress the balance of diagnosis of AS between sexes. but I think you’re a bit premature in doing what you’re doing now. You HAVE, absoutely, given something that is potentially useful, but it needs much more work on its psychometric properties.
Is there a university anywhere near you? One with a psychology or education department? If so, you could approach them with this as a possible project for later-stage undergrads or post-grads that need a project for their theses. We can’t just put out even ‘unofficial’ checklists, for the reasons I’ve mentioned. But your list, if validity and reliability studies could be done on it, has the potential to ease the diagnostic process significantly for females of any age on the spectrum. For this reason, I’m urging you to do this.
My basis for saying this stuff:
I’m a psychologist by training and work as a psycho-educational consultant on a freelance basis. I am on the spectrum myself, as is my daughter – and so is her mother. Much of my work is done via an autism-specialist consultancy here in Finland where I live.
Psychological/Educational diagnosis forms part of my training, and I have been particularly interested in this aspect of diagnosis, namely: the imbalance in diagnostic rates between males and females. I am of the opinion that, if an instrument could be developed that was sensitive to the differences in how Asperger syndrome is apparent in females compared to males, we’d be going a long way to ending serious misery for a lot of spectrum females who have no explanation for why they are who they are.
I am also an international associate editor for a peer-reviewed journal, which is a great place to get this work into the eyeline of many professionals in the autism field. A good quality study on the matters I’ve mentioned earlier would go some way to getting your work where you want it to be.
Thanks for sharing this great check list! I do love a good check list! Reading list like this help diminish my doubts about having Apergers. I am most definitely an aspergirl! I am going to share this on my FB for Autism Awareness month! I think more people need to be informed about females with Aspergers!!
Super, Amanda. I love check lists, too. Great idea to share for Autism Awareness. Please remember I’m not a professional. (I’m sure you figured that out, but just making sure.) In my opinion, these traits fit a lot of aspie people I know. Hugs to you aspergirl! Thanks for the great comment.
Sam
oh my, what happened to my comment?
What comment? lol. It’s been zapped into the Twilight Zone. I’m sure it was a great comment.
Great list ,excellent work my friend
Well, I have changed a lot since my stroke. There used to be a great deal of those I could have checked off for myself, though I don’t think 75% in each category. I feel certain that we all have some of those traits.
I had a great student who has asperger’s. He had most of the above. I liked him a lot and I believe I understood him the best. He has grown, is in high school, and, from what I can tell, is doing very well adjusting. It makes me proud to have known him.
The world is made up of such a conglomeration of people. We must learn to accept and understand others, especially those unlike ourselves. They have so much to teach us.
“The world is made up of such a conglomeration of people. We must learn to accept and understand others, especially those unlike ourselves. They have so much to teach us.” That’s beautiful.
Wow. I think you just described me 100%. I’m no expert, but I’d say you captured very precisely women with Asperger’s. Either that, or we’re twins separated at birth. We aren’t, right? Twins separated at birth???
Perhaps. I am an only child!
Thanks for the feedback, and the great humor. ~ Sam
As an adult female who self-diagnosed, this checklist helped me ID myself…done a lot of research and this list summarizes all that I’ve read. Thank you, for this checklist, Sam
You don’t know how much you’ve helped me since I first met you…I gained soooo much knowledge/insight about Asperger’s and knowing that I’m not alone gives me courage to deal with whatever happens after this discovery. You’re a godsend…I know now that I’m not a mental case…lol…
More power and wisdom to you, Sam, for what you do…wishing you all the best
hugs 
Thank you for this. I’m 27 and still carry a diagnosis of “bipolar disorder with psychotic features”. The problems got worse after my daughter was born and I was diagnosed with postpartum psychosis. I know what happened now. My daughter has ASD, and in doing research to help her, I’ve discovered I’m not crazy, I’m an aspie! Too bad, no one else sees it that way. When my son was born, I was able to get through the pregnancy and birth without any depression at all because I knew what to realistically expect since I’d done it once before. I’ve had a lot of issues because I based knowledge on movies and what little we were told in health class. I actually hid my first period from my mom for three days because I thought there was something wrong with me (in movies it’s red, duh). That’s way too much TMI, isn’t it? Any way, thanks for speaking up and giving a voice to those who otherwise don’t have one.
No such a thing as TMI with me! lol I love learning about other people’s stories. I am so happy that you are finding answers. When I realized I had Asperger’s, so much of my life made sense. I’ve had my share of diagnoses that didn’t fit. Asperger’s does. Yes, a life based on what actors do in movies. I can relate to that. I think I waited three months to tell my mom. I still remember. Nice to hear from you.
Sam
Thank you for your kind words. Movies are what ruined my experience after my daughter was born too. Everybody tells you “you fall in love instantly”, “It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt, the love is instantaneous and magic”… I felt nothing. I tried so hard and burned myself into a psych ward twice because I wasn’t feeling anything. I wouldn’t let anyone help me because I was trying to “bond” with my baby. I missed a lot being stuck in that brain. With my son, I had no issues at all because I knew I just wasn’t the kind of “love at first sight” mom EVERY other mom seems to be. I have to get to know my kids. It makes sense when you think about it logically. Does it matter that they came from your body and share your DNA? They are still a stranger. You’re getting to know them just as much as they are getting to know you. You learn to love each other. I love my kids now, no doubt about it. I know it in my heart even if I don’t feel it in my brain. We’re changing every day and getting to know each other more every day. That’s what love is. Maybe if more movies, books and other people told things how it really is, more women like us wouldn’t be so confused. Stop making things “magical” and keep it real!
Wow! That’s a comprehensive list. I ticked off a few things, but I think we all have some characteristics in common.
I hope people find their way to your blog; I’m sure this would help.
Thanks, Tilly. Yes, long list. It’s been simmering in my brain for a long time.
Awesome list Sam. I will have to check back and reread this more than once. Does the fact I listen to the same songs over and over mean anything? Dianne
I listen to the same song over and over all the time.
Thanks for commenting and stopping by.
“YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL ”
THIS IS FOR SURE ………
WELL DONE SAMANTHA .
WHAT AN INCREDIBLY WELL PUT TOGETHER LIST THAT EDUCATES
AND ELEVATES ………
THE WORLD IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE WHEN WE SEE THE SIMILARITIES AND THE UNIQUENESS IN EVERY ONE
I CHECKED OFF A FEW THERE ON THE LIST ………
!!!!!!!
MORE THAN A FEW !
“3. High interest in songs and song lyrics.”
“2. Sensory Issues (sight, sound, texture, smells, taste)”
“4. Highly intuitive to others’ feelings.”
WOW ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
THIS IS FOR YOU ………..
KEEP BEING YOU A ZILLION PERCENT
BEAUTIFUL YOU XO
CAT XO
Listening to the song, now. Very nice surprise to wake up to. “THE WORLD IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE WHEN WE SEE THE SIMILARITIES AND THE UNIQUENESS IN EVERY ONE.” ~ perfect quote!
You are beautiful! Sam
Perfect video. I’ve heard the song but hadn’t seen the video. Thank you for sharing a few traits that you related to on the list. I figured #3! Appreciate all the positive up lifting words and, again, the song. Have a super week.
NOT A QUOTE –
JUST AN EARLY MORNING RAMBLE 
LOL !!!!!!!!
I DO MY BEST THINKING IN THE MORNING – WHO KNOWS WHY > MAYBE THE BRAIN IS MORE THAN AWAKE ……
MAYBE IT’S HAD TOO MUCH TIME TO BE QUIET ?
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ………..
NEVER FORGET IT XOXOXOXO
XXX
MUCH LOVE
AND CONGRATS ON WHAT YOU DO …..
IT’S ENLIGHTENING AND REFRESHING ……..
IT’S A BEAUTIFUL WORLD WHEN NOBODY HIDES XOXOXO CAT
DING! DING! DING!
That was my you are sooo right bell!
I loved the checklist. I appreciate the time it took you to compile!
Lori
Ding! Ding! Ding! That’s my thank you bell.
Thanks for stopping by. Hugs.
I love your lists!
That’s a good thing. Because I think my brain is one giant list. hee hee
Happy Belated Birthday. I liked seeing a photo of you.
Oh my….it amazes me to identify with so many traits that I have.. and others, not…but the detailed accuracy is stunning…for example .. . bed linens and uncomfortability. I waited for my ex to fall asleep before getting to bed. .and wondered why those darn sheets couldn’t behave. Lol
Thanks for sharing your experience.
lol about the bed sheets.
That one had me LOL, too. I once swore to my husband that I would never get any sleep as long as I couldn’t get that wrinkle in the sheet to stay gone. Turns out it was a wrinkle UNDER the mattress. He calls me Princess and the Pea to this day over that one.
Don’t even ask what it takes for me to get settled before I can sleep. If you wrote it all down, it would fill a few dozen pages!
Like a few other commenters, I could check off nearly everything on this list as well, and probably my best friend could too. I also see my son in this list. Last year, while dealing with a stressful situation at school (I’m in grad school), my therapist asked if I wanted to undergo analysis to see if I should be diagnosed for Asperger’s, or if I wanted to do the same for my son. I said no, mostly because I have long suspected I either have Asperger’s or am very similar to one who has it, and I’ve mostly coped ok other than a few bumps along the way. I’ve read almost everything in our local library and book shop on it, and did the same when I suspected that my son and I both were suffering from food allergies when he was a baby. When it came to the food allergy stuff, our doctor finally said, “You’ve researched this so thoroughly that I should be coming to you for advice!” The therapist kind of said the same about Asperger’s.
This is a great post, and I am forwarding it to some friends.
Thank you!
My message for you just erased. Still learning how to navigate this laptop. Thank you for sharing your story. You remind me of my research journey. I smiled at the part about the therapist and doctor. Know that well. Take care, and thanks so much for stopping by. ~ Sam
Just now seeing the numbering was off! Oh, how I love dyslexia. Fixed it, I think.
Lol, this was the story inside my head- “The numbering in section E is wrong. Should I say something? Would that be weird? Should I say that I liked the list before or after mentioning the numbering? Or should I not say anything about it? Ha I’m over-thinking what I should say, just like in the list. Maybe I should describe this in my comment. Or would that be OTT & over-sharing? Heh heh that’s in the list too. Oh god now I’m over-thinking my over-thinking about what to say in my comment…. oh look the numbers are fixed….”
Thanks for the great list, it was enlightening, to say the least!
lol
That would be so me! I Figured a lot of people probably had that same thought process. Felt so bad for the hundreds that saw it. Then had to let it go! Thanks for the comment, it made me smile. ~ Sam
(80.1% with a deviation of 10% depending on the section.. *ahem* )
What’s the ahem for. Clearing your throat? I’m not so good at social cues? lol
Sam Thanks for sharing
Thanks! I checked off almost everything on this.
You are welcome. Thank you for your feedback. It is helpful.
This is so much more realistic than the ‘official’ diagnosis list of questions. Nicely done and thank you! I think I got to 147 ticks – and 8 extreme opposite. Very interesting!
Thanks for your feedback. Cool that you kept track. Thanks for sharing.
Love this! Both my daughter and I fit much of this list. (me much more than her). Thank you.
Thanks for putting together this extensive list. I have a feeling I’ll be coming back to it. I know someone with Aspergers and this is very helpful.
You are very welcome.
Sam
Thank you so much, this feels like someone just opened a window for me. Best wishes.
Thank you for commenting. I like that image of an open window.
)) Best wishes to you. Hugs, Sam
If diamonds were perfect then there would be nothing to trap and reflect the light. It is the imperfections which allow them to sparkle. Everyone is a diamond.
Very true.
Hi again! I wrote an very long comment on your other list, but I wanted to pop in here too. I translated my results into per cents and while several were lower than I expected some were higher. They are as follows:
100 per dent on Section A
60 per dent on Section B
65 per cent on Section C
62 per cent on Section D
68 per cent on Section E
50 per cent on Section F
90 per cent on Section G
71 per cent on Section H
80 per cent on Section I
80 per cent on Section J
83 per cent on Executive Functioning
I suspect some of the lower numbers are due either to my vision impairment, i.e. I can’t copy people because I can’t see what they are doing in a certain situation–, or my stubborn streak which makes conforming, especially to standards with which I disagree–contemperary fashion I’m looking at you–particularly difficult.
I don’t like social situations, but I’ve learned to deal with them, but it doesn’t feel like conscious effort–it seems more like I finally don’t care–while at the same time I do…I just confused myself and you all, sorry.-sheepish sad face-
While I want acceptance, I want it for my personality/interests, likes, dislikes, work, etc., not my appearance needless to say, the heigine one really hit home–that’s better now, I promise!! And there I go, over sharing, sharing intimate details and over thinking the over sharing. -head desk in frustration-
Yet at the same time that I want acceptance, there’s a part of my brain that says, I don’t care what anyone thinks. Needless to say, the over analytical hypercritical side of my brain and the hippie free spirit flower child side of my brain din’t get along and it becomes the Civil War inside my skull.
Usually, the hippie side wins -grins-
-resists urge to go into tangent about the reference being to the Irish not American Civil War-as Irish history is my special interest- because I don’t want to offend anyone-
Anyway, enough of my ramblings. Thanks for reading if you did.
Peace out,
Blackbird
That should be a very long not an, and I think per cent is one word. Oops.
Peace,
Blackbird the absent-minded
Well, I checked off everything except one. I am glad you mentioned Executive Functioning as most books and sites do not cover that area and it is the one that messes with my life the most and is understood for not trying or laziness and makes me feel aweful because no matter how hard I try it does not change. This post was excellent and I sent a link to a few close friends. Thank you:)
Hi Audrey. Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate the information and the time you took. Glad you found the words helpful. Take care and best wishes to you. Sam
I have ADHD and have just being doing a hidden disabilities course and felt more strongly about the Aspie issue and your list is so me. I have to contend with something though how can these issues suddenly appear I understand overlap but the aspie issues were never there, I was social and I mean actually life of the party type, invited out even when broke because people wanted me around, now I have to say I feel like a pariah. My conversational skills are nothing to how they used to be, and people are always misunderstanding what I said now. I am losing the will, no matter how hard I try I feel battered.
but once again thanks for the female perspective.
I could be the life of the party, too. If I was in a glee-state, hyper from the newness, surrounded by a trusted friend, or just plain goofy. I think you can be the life of the party one time and then feel inadequate another. Each experience for each individual is unique. It depends on your level of confidence, the environment, who you are with, etc. Thank you for sharing and commenting and I wish you the best. ~ Sam
you have been lurking outside the window of my entire life.
Ohhhh…..I love your comment….so profound and awesome.
Hugs. Sam
According to my trusty interweb calculator:
Section A: Deep Thinkers (90%)
Section B: Innocent (80%)
Section C: Escape and Friendship (85%)
Section D: Comorbid Attributes (75%)
Section E: Social Interaction (95%)
Section F: Finds Refuge when Alone (100%)
Section G: Sensitive (100%)
Section H: Sense of Self (75%)
Section I: Confusion (86%)
Section J: Words and Patterns (90%)
(Optional) Executive Functioning (91%)
So… yeah. :3 I feel as though my knowledge of my traits will increase as I get older and I’ll probably be able to use this more accurately. Thank you so much! c:
… And I was right. I told you that it would change!!!
A: 9/10 (90%)
B: 9/10 (90%)
C: 17/20 (85%)
D: 14/16 (87%)
E: 24/25 (96%)
F: 14/14 (100%)
G: 19/20 (95%)
H: 14/14- 13.5/14 (90-100%)
I: 15/15 (100%)
J: 10/10 (100%)
Optional: 11/12 (91%)
Thanks for sharing lovely Raven.
This was very interesting! This very much describes my daughter, with the exception that she stilll likes to go to the mall/shopping, etc, she likes to “go”…. & maybe a few other things, but overall, it really describes her to quite an extent. (she has NVLD) Thank you =)
Thank you for your comment. There have been times in my life when I like to go. Sometimes I am much happier out of the house as I’m out of my thoughts more.
I was going to write “out of my mind” more…but then chuckled, as that isn’t true. lol. 
Sam
This sounds exactly like me ! I found this blog while searching for info on aspergers as my daughter has been red flagged with it but at the moment only been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder in seeking. I am just as different as her and sometimes I feel invisible or people don’t get me.. I have had OCD and anxiety in the past , but these days I’m doing ok.. This has opened my eyes and got me pondering ! Thanks
So glad you found this writing and that the words helped you to connect to your own experience in some way. Glad to “meet” you and the best of luck to you and your family.
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Hi, this is fascinating. I also felt a bit shocked when reading this because I could relate to a bit too much!
I haven’t had a good impression as to what Aspergers is because I have dated a male high-functioning “Aspie” but he only spoke to one doctor and for all we know he could just be an ass!
He was the opposite of me in some ways, vindictive, obsessive, had an emotional affair, really good with numbers, very neat, organized, introverted, socially awkward, selfish, very vain, inflated ego…
He did have many “aspie” traits, but so do many non-Aspie, so it’s hard to draw the line, as many of the traits people relate to “Aspie” are male traits in general, as males are matter-of-fact and very logical most of the time.
Some guys that are nassicist, or just jerks or even sociopaths will lie and say they have “Aspergers” so people will not suspect them.
They give real Aspies a bad name.
Personally I’m a creative individual that relate to this as I’m imaginative, and have anxiety traits. (Like most artists…) Many artistic people have characteristics mentioned here.
I am very honest, and could find many things I could agree to here, and it would be easier to list the things that really don’t apply.
It is interesting as what I have read about female Aspies is actually interesting, and they sound very different to the males…I was wondering why are they so different?
Why the males are so bad at reading facial cues, but the females are really VERY good with empathy and reading others???
It also sounds like they could be an overlap here of other conditions this could apply to:
BDP males–problems with reading facial expressions in extreme cases,
ADHD-dyslexia can occur in many conditions such as ADHD, or a stand-alone trait.
Agoraphobia-people with this condition would avoid crowded places and answering phones etc
Anxiety
Depression
There are so many labels a person can have, or that overlap… What were some of the labels you were misdiagnosed with?
I was curious way you mentions CFS here, as that’s a medical condition, all different personality types could have.
I really hope the first part wasn’t offensive, it is a description of an indivual male with Aspergers, and I’m not saying the whole group is like that. That’s most likely obvious, but the last thing I’d want to do is hurt feelings, especially seeing most people here would be sensitive.
Thanks for the interesting article.
Thank you for sharing a part of your journey, and I hope you find the answers you are searching for. Females present differently because of our genetic make-up, our socialization skills, expectations from others, and the way females communicate and interact. Males and females on the spectrum have much in common; however, there are definite differences between the male and female in communication style. Best wishes to you, and thanks for taking the time to comment.
I have a 3year old boy in a wait list for autism diagnosis. I have been beefing up and researching autism for about a year now. I decided I was curious to know the traits of an adult with aspergers because I have wondered if perhaps he inherited it from me. This list rang so true for me and feels like it described a lot of my quirks. My question is what does a diagnosis do for a person with aspergers? Is it worth the trouble? It may have helped me growing up and going to school. I suppose I could
… ask a doctor but I am afraid of being shirked off. I would hate to be perceived as an over reacting parent ( sorry for the fractured post my phone was being cheeky)
Thank you for your comment and sharing a part of your story. Your question is a great one. I might encourage you to join our support group on facebook to ask that question. Link atop blog. Seeking a diagnosis can be a painful experience or rewarding, depending on the professionals your encounter and your state of mind, emotions, etc. regarding the issue. Best wishes to you.
Thank you thank you thank you. You have described my personality and I’m blown away and relieved all at the same time. Never knew there were others like me…. and I’m 37.
You are very, very welcome. Thank you so much for letting me know this reached you on some level. Best wishes.
Sam
I just kept nodding. I teared up. I have felt so out of place my whole life. Could this be me? Thank you so much – really.
You are very welcome. Thank you for taking the time to share. Hugs to you.
Same here!
Some of these, I’m not 80%, but most of them, I’m 100%. I probably need to take this list to my doctor, and get the diagnosis, huh?
I don’t know if your doctor would take the list seriously, but it couldn’t hurt, as long as you are prepared for him/her to possibly dismiss it. Unfortunately a lot of professionals know little to nothing about females with Aspergers. Best wishes to you, and thank you for taking the time to comment.
Thank you so much for all the great info you post here, and particularly this checklist! I can’t even count the number of “a-ha” and “sigh of relief” moments I’ve had.
Just wanted to point out that some males may present with some of the stuff on this list, just like some females present more like the “typical” male-oriented checklists. I think it would be great to have *both* types of checklists acknowledged by the so-called experts.
For those asking why girls/women would present differently, particularly in the areas of empathy/intution, I think it could be partly physiological or hormonal. But mostly I think it is due to socialization and culture. Girls and woman are more often placed in situations where they are required to communicate, to interact, to consider people’s emotions, to be polite. Female social groups are also more frequently centered around intense communication, sharing of emotions, and elaborate interactions. Men are not expected to do these things, and in fact are often severely discouraged from doing so. Male friendships often focus on activities or shared interests, whereas female friendships center on similarities and shared experiences or shared emotions. Certainly there is overlap, but those are recognized general trends. This means that girls and women with Asperger’s or other high-functioning autism conditions are under even more social pressure to learn how to share emotions, how to recognize others’ emotions, and how to communicate and be polite. Because of this, we learn how to adapt more quickly than males. This is my theory, anyway.
Interesting thoughts. Thank you for sharing them with me and for making contact. Best wishes to you.
Thank you for this checklist. Here were my results:
Percentage: 91.4 % out of 100%
Section A – 10/10
Section B – 9/10
Section C – 14/20
Section D – 25/25
Section E – 25/25
Section F – 14/14
Section G – 20/20
Section H – 11/14
Section I – 13/15
Section J – 9/10
Executive functioning – 10/12
I really enjoy your blog and appreciate all you’ve shared!
You are most welcome. Thanks for letting me know!
your blog resembles much what i was like when i was younger. i didnt get diagnosed till i was like 14 1/2 and the only reason i got diagnosed was because my mum had been lookin at my history on my laptop and saw i was on suicide sites. it had actually got that bad, and i couldnt tell her how i felt. i kept so much inside and it was killing me every day but now im diagnosed i have improved so much and life is good. but in order to improve you need to find peace within urself…how can i explain…its not something other people can help u with really, not even pshciatrists, its something u need to do within urself, but people have varying degrees of aspergers and so this can be very hard for some people. im now 15 and i am already so much better, i actually feel normal, i have friends and a good real life, i get out, work hard and have fun, but the state i was in those years in didnt know i had aspergers i was not well…i cannot even explain…i was in a very dark evil cold place in my head. i was suffering from EXTEME social anxiety. i genuinly believe had i not been diagnosed i wud hav eventually just snapped and turned in2 some kinda pshcopath or sumthing. girls express the symptoms of aspergers much more differently than boys, schools and such need to know this. none of my teachers picked up on any of my symptoms, i just appeared painfully shy, weird, loner, stupid (my grades suffered a lot too because of my intense anxiety and such). i hear a lot about aspie girls not following fashion or keeping good hygeine or using makeup/deoderants/grooming hair etc…this was not the case for me. i tried really hard to keep up with all this, quite often more than other teenagers in general. i actually started to get body dysmorphic tendancies. (i still do, im still working on that) but until my teenage years it was the other way round. i guess i was just desperate to fit in and i had this idea that people judged an awfull lot by appearance (an aspie trait, i was too focused on labels and diagnostics lol, probably the reason why i used to be a hardcore feminist too, i really hated bein judged by sexism, plus i was always more of a tomboy and did well at guy sports) i got the idea that if i looked weird/ugly eg they would see me as having a weird/ugly personality. i recognised all the popular people looked good/cool, and then i saw the less popular people…who didnt. i didnt want to be judged by being one of those people i guess. what im tryna say here is there are some girls with aspergers who actually do take care of appearance/follow fashion and such. i just dont want teachers thinking that socially awkward loner girl sitting in there class hasnt got aspergers because she follows fashion/does hygeine/groom hair or whatever cuz this is not always the case. There are so many girls out there suffering with undiagnosed aspergers, not just that, girls go undiagnosed for a lot of other mental ilnesses too. i just want them to get help. if u have any symptoms of aspergers at all please go to a doctor an get it checked. its usually the more high functioning autistics (like me) who dont have as many of the symptoms as others who come to realise theyre different and who can spiral into a dark place where they begin to think why theyre not fitting in, whats wrong with them, why am i so different from other people, and begin to hate themselves. ASD is the fastest growing mental illness of today.go get help, please dont be scared, phsciatrists only want to help you, they wont judge. LIFE DOES GET BETTER. be happy with who you are <3
thank you for sharing your story. I hope your words can help other readers. Life does get better. You are right. I appreciated all you shared and your heart. Blessings and light to you.
“ASD is the fastest growing mental illness” This was confusing to me as I didn’t think it was a mental illness.
What Jessica describes sounds more like BPD with the intense desire to fit in and be accepted.
ASD is not a mental illness but is confused as so because it is in the manual used to determine mental illness.
Not necessarily, Zenni. Many females on the spectrum also have an intense desire to fit in and be accepted. I know that I did. Of course, I have not been officially diagnosed, but I AM fairly sure that I am on the spectrum myself. I spent years trying to fit in before I gave up.
As I’ve dated a man with Aspergers, I feel that the condition is not something to jump to conclusions about.
A young woman experiencing depression, anxiety, body image issues and strong desire to fit in sounds like a typical teenager going through severe depression.
It’s a bit of a jump to say Autism or Aspergers as unlike a mental illness such as BPD, depression, anxiety etc it can not be “cured” nor is it something to “cure”
I don’t feel Aspergers is a “mental illness” it’s a different perspective of life, and in extreme cases a disability..
If you put yourself in the Aspergers category, that’s a huge jump as you will accept this way of thinking is for life, in some ways can be a gift–and is not some mental illness that could be treated away.
It’s a life commitment, so you better make sure you want a label for life, as society has cruel stigmas.
In the case that it causes you pain, another label (I can’t stand labels, why can’t people just be considered human beings?) might be better because it gives you hope of cure.
If you feel that aspergers is a gift, a part of your personality, but not illness, then it might feel correct.
I understand people just don’t want to be invisible anymore.
What’s my diagnosis? I don’t know. I’m here for various reasons. I have an interest in Aspergers, and also things it could be misdiagnosed for such as BPD and ADD..very interesting topics.
All that matters is this is a great community for support, whatever the case may be.
If read aloud, the tone was kind and heartfelt ^^^
I agree with much of what you said.
Thanks for the input. After loving my son (still do of course) with ASD it is so easy for me to see Aspergers as a gift, despite the challenges, so I am very thankful for my outlook. You voiced concerns of many. blessings, Sam
[...] [...]
I’m a 30 year old female in the UK and after a life time of crippling anxiety, IBS, sensory overload, excessive structure, obessions , ‘quirkiness’ and a general sense of ‘otherness’ I’ve asked to be referred for an assessment for Aspergers whilst being treated for another episode of generalized anxiety and panic.
I do a great job of blending in a lot of the time, but find so much of society’s daily activities and expectations completely overwhelming.
Although friends and family are loathe to agree that I may be on the spectrum, that just proves to me what an amazing mask I’ve worn for so long and how well I’ve kept people at arms length incase they see the ‘real me’.
I just want to thank you so much for your invaluable insight and honesty. Reading your blog has made something “click” at long last, and I hope I’m on the start of developing a happier, more accepting me.
you are most welcome. I’m so glad something clicked for you. I hope you are on that start, too. Thanks much for sharing. I can relate to what you said, especially the “amazing mask” part. Cheers and much light and love heading your way.
Sam
Thanks Sam, I am glad you liked my other comments. I have decided to write about myself below, and if you want, you could offer your interpritation. (took some courage to decide this)
Firstly my results: -)
High Scores in sections A,B, F, G, H & J
Low scores in- C,D,E,I and the optional section
Seems I either highly agreed or did not apply at all.
An honest self description of me & what others have said:
When I was a child I was very honest and trustworthy. I learnt to read quickly and was a creative, popular kid.
I had no issues with social interaction, and what quite an extrovert. I had a lot of confidence, played sports and did well at school.
I was not in the gifted classes, but doing well enough. However, I was very advanced with words, and vocubularly for my age. I read adult novels (always fiction) and in that way I was advanced.
I did have big issues with maths, learning the time, spatial reasoning. This did not improve with age. So in those technical/numerical areas I am a dunce.
I told people everything, and can relate to over-sharing. I learnt to stop that as felt hurt no one did in return. It also gets used against you.
Teenage years I had heavy depression and withdrew into introversion. I changed dramatically and really did not like the company of others. I quickly noticed the stupidity of society, commercialism and started to feel life was pointless and that people were shallow.
I have always been considered attractive, but at times dressed VERY oddly either for comfort or for shock value as I like art and alternative cultures.
I was very naive for a long time and like a child. I moved out early, but in other areas I was behind. I feel I need to be looked after sometimes. I can easily care for myself, but the house will be a mess, but I can survive. It’s just stressful, mundane things like paying bills etc.
I was top of the class for most things except the tecnical/numbers. I already had big signs of getting lost a lot, forgetting my timetable, late nearly daily, messy writing, brought the wrong books, unorganized and poor with practical subjects.
e.g. In science class, I’d panic when we had to do experiments, because that meant following steps, OUTSIDE OF A BOOK and I waited to copy how others set it up.
I have to learn things with my hands, so just being told by the teacher was mostly useless. I generally can’t follow diagrams, or maps.
I am not clumsy, and I appear “normal” and not some kind of inept person, but in many ways I am dumb.
As an adult I still have that trouble of being “smart” but when it came to actual work, never keeping a job, and losing esteem as outside of highschool the world considered me an idiot.
I do the blank stare, and get lost in thought. People can’t decide if I’m a genius or a fool. I’ve been called both often.
I went through a period of time where I unplugged my phone and turned my mobile off. I have also had anxiety and always messy house, or very neat house. I often have trouble with going outside. I now love the company of others and leave my phone on, and encourage interaction. I am an extrovert again.
I’ve always been popular and good with jokes, and considered attractive. I don’t lie so in relationships, I never cheated, and have been a great friend or partner.
I am also considered very weird. As in one situation I will talk to everybody in the room, and in another something triggers me and I am pissed off by others being in my space and walk away from everybody. This is confusing to others as how can I be both gregacious and a recluse/human-hater.
(Often alternating beteen social butterfly, to humans are terrible, I prefer animals)
I know EVERYTHING about the people I am really close to, and my romantic partner will become what you call a “special interest” as I gather facts about him.
I’m very, very romantic and thoughtful.
Why I suffer is I can never really be happy, I get very lonely, I make friends easily—but can’t seem to keep more than 2-3 friends…..and yes many have stopped talking to me for no reason. I have many acquanitences, but because i can’t keep a job, I am always broke so can’t go out or do things. Money troubles isolate me as I feel ashamed and don’t want to mooch off others.
In this area I lie significantly, to retain dignity. It feels bad though.
I feel like a child, I can’t self-teach (I need to be shown everything) and appointments etc obsess my whole day.
I want to be independent and keep a job, but I’m not.
I could say more/answer questions, but this is already huge, but maybe it would help someone.
I’ve written a lot then backspaced the things that I felt were too much.
I have seen most of this can apply to creative people with anxiety. But I’ll leave it to you to decide.
Please ask, if you’d like to clarify anything.
Thanks for letting me share here.
I knew it would be long, but not that long…so sorry!!!!
P.S. How did you manage teaching? Going to uni? With all that anxiety and need to be organized, wasn’t it really hard? Well done!
I’ll try to get back to you shortly on this; feel free to friend me on facebook, and let me know if you want me to delete any of your information after I’m done reading.
I don’t mind the length and thank you for sharing. 
Sam
Ah, Zenni. You sound a lot like I do.
Of course, I’m just now realizing that I was more obnoxious than I was social, and I had a very abrupt approach to the entire ordeal. I seemed social enough, but only around adults. Around my peers, I was absolutely atrocious.
Even now, I *seem* social. I have much difficulty with the reading of facial expressions and body language, but I’m always very kind and friendly with people, and I’ve never been described as quiet. In fact, people often tease me for being hyperactive. In reality, I’m only being hyperactive as a way of releasing nervous energy, but no one understands.
Whenever I tell someone that I have difficulty interacting, they’re very surprised and usually don’t believe me. I have definitely become more subdued with age, but I consider myself to be an extroverted introvert.
I have found that from my description above, and personality test in past—INFP are VERY similar to this, and aren’t Aspies…just very different and only form about 2% of society so they feel different too.
I am an ambivert these days. Too extroverted to be a real introvert, not hyper enough to keep up with the true extroverts.
I can relate to this unofficial list, but what I’m really not realting to—is some key Aspie traits…
I have really good read of body language and facial expressions. I am considered “perceptive”
I also couldn’t relate to the motor skills part.
I found one of the good tests online (used in actual testing) and this was the result:
Your Aspie score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 135 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
So I have more in common with Aspies than most, but still aren’t one.
I’m most likely an eccentric person. I can find some understanding here, and on other forums for various things.
Thanks for the reply.
Very interesting. I am INFJ I have heard that a large majority of Aspie are INSJ (I think)… not sure though. INFJ is a small percent of population, as well. Thanks for commenting. Enjoyed your insight. As a side note, after decades I did “learn” how to read body language, and many female aspies become experts in reading body language for survival. Also I trained myself to make eye contact in my late thirties. I’m introvert unless I’m around people who make me feel safe, or I get a type of hyper-nervous where I babble… and then regret everything I said. I am a natural leader, that pushes me out of my shell often; so I might give a speech but be shaking in my boots the whole time. Cheers and best wishes to you.
)
I can see the biggest factor here, is that being a social natural in early childhood, (having many friends, playing sports, perceptive at young age) and later developing some social awkwardness as a result of teenage depression.
I can see now how people with Aspergers would get unfairly misdiagnosed. This conversation revealed the critical factor–”What were they like as kids?”
If I had these traits from a young age, I would certainly consider the possibility of Aspergers.
Aspergers isn’t something you can “learn” later in life.
There we go! Some kind of insight!
“What were you like as a child?” That tells us who we really are.
Actually…. some experts say Aspergers hits females at puberty… with onset depression and the realization they no longer fit in. …..
Oh, really, Sam? Wow, that makes so much sense… I always knew that I was different, but it really hit me from the ages of 11-13. That was when I started trying to fit in and adapt to social norms…
I’ve given up at this point, but still… it makes sense.
Oh that’s interesting- then how come it’s considered developmental?
I didn’t have trouble fitting in. I had depression because a family member died, and I no longer felt joyous or like interacting for a while. Some other things happened too.
After overcoming the majority of that grief, I was right back into it. But I’ll always miss them.
i cried and cried and cried. i am 40. i have been disconnected all my life trying so hard and failing to be something acceptable despite my outward intelligence and confidence. almost everything on that list bar two items i can relate to and my 4 year old daughter is also different.i cry for her too because she is like me.
huge hugs of support to you.
thank you for sharing
WOW! again i say THANK YOU! BLESS YOU! I am 39 F in the USAand about to be officially diagnosed with Aspergers AKA Autism.per DSM 5. I have pushed and researched and argued to get my diagnosis and I am not backing down because for once I am listening to my intuition. I always knew, but until found your blog today couldn’t fully express myself to doctors. One neuropsych in 2011 even accused me of being too detailed and diligent and over sharing. grrrrrr!
My top three deepest aspie female traits is the the naivete, the executive function issues, and the young/little side that female aspies sometimes have. I have racked up multiple death threats on the naiveness issue alone. I really really wish I had known this stuff in childhood! I am so glad i survived. I am also glad that younger aspie girls may not have to go where I and others like me have been. i am glad that because of you and women like you they may receive support and have self understanding.
Thank you for the introduction. Good for you! That takes a lot of energy and strength. Sigh about the neuropsych in 2011…. Sounds like my three top traits, too. death threat? eeek, that doesn’t sound good. I am glad for the same things. Blessings, Sam
thank you Sam
yes eeek is right. I was friendly, innocent and when i went into homes to do family preservation everyday in the “ghetto” hard core drug dealers thought i was a narc. They were not nice and not happy 
I QUIT. only last 3 months. . . Quitting however didn’t mean I actually gained any common sense yet…. that took years and lots more “adventures” to start to learn the ways of the world.
I relate somewhat to that list. My children have autism/asperger’s and my psychiatrist says that I likely have some autistic traits. Some of my early bad experiences were due to innocence and lack of street smarts. Counseling did help change my way of thinking about others. It gave me insight.
I think my autistic traits helped me to understand my children, though.
thank you for sharing; I am able to understand my son in many aspects because of my ASD and his ASD.
Your list is a revelation! I recognise so much of the list. I have known a number of male aspies and never for a moment associated myself with them, until I recently found out how much different the female symptoms and traits are. I have lived with this semi-alien sensation all my life. I’m now 61, just retired and finding life somewhat easier to cope with; however this thing doesn’t get any better, it just appears to change as you go through the different stages of life. I’m not sure if even the word Aspergers existed when I was a child, so at least children now are far more likely to be spotted and helped.
Thank you so much for this, also thank you to all these ladies for also replying, to know that there are so many of us is something of a comfort!
Having only recently self-diagnosed, my plan is to get a formal diagnosis – it may seem a little late to be bothering with such a thing, but there is one specific person in my life (a sibling, can’t be avoided!) who constantly criticises my every move and every word – makes me feel dreadful after every meeting with her – I am hoping that putting a name to this ‘condition’ might just make her hold her tongue occasionally!
Thank you again Samantha, I wish you well.
You are most welcome. I wish you well, too. Thank you for sharing
))
Thank you…I ticked off nearly everything. My parents aren’t really supportive of this situation (I’m 18, still live at home) so I decided to take therapy …They don’t realise that it’s not just therapy for myself, but also for them. I love you for making this list.. I just read trough the comments, and I’m happy knowing that I’m not the only one!
-Mariya
Thank you for taking the time to comment; I wish you the very best.
[...] If you found that list to be interesting, here is a link to a similar list of female traits: Everyday Asperger’s [...]
I am a 32 year old female going through a horrendous divorce. I was recently told by a counselor that I may have aspergers. I’ve been back and forth about it for months. When forced by the court system to be evaluated for custody by my husband who was trying to prove I was unfit I met with a Psychologist. He saw that my counselor suggested I may have aspergers and he immediately discredited it due to my ability to maintain eye contact and be social, he said I have traits of aspergers but may not have it. After reading this list…there is no doubt. This describes me to a T with emphasis on confusion and sensitivity. I have a very difficult time understanding dishonesty and manipulation. Which explains why my husband was able to manipulate and control me so easily throughout our marriage… I see the good in everyone, to the point of being naive. My husband cleared out our bank accounts and kidnapped our young child, and I was completely blindsided. I am still in shock. I never saw it coming…and the funny thing is I don’t hate him for it… I feel bad for him. Everything he is doing is destructive to himself and he is completely unaware. He has literally created a hell on earth for me, and I don’t hate him. Everyone tells me I am so strong and they couldn’t be so forgiving under such horrible circumstances, but what they don’t understand is that my thought process is so complex that I look at it from every angle… like I am removed from the situation. This is common for me and is why I’ve always felt like an outsider looking in on this world. It is extremely lonely, which has led to sever depression. It is like, I want to be involved but then I feel like I don’t fit in, and can’t understand, but then I understand everything on so many levels… and I think it is my understanding everything at so many levels, that I feel odd or out of place that others don’t see all the levels too. I hate the feeling of being detached from the majority… not being able to relate… and I need lots of time alone to reflect before I come to an understanding, if I ever do, of how I feel about even minuet things. A professor I dated once told me that I over intellectualize everything and I guess I do. I guess the question to be analyzed here is how do I use it to my advantage? I hate not being understood, perhaps because I don’t always understand myself. And feeling distant from ones self is perhaps the loneliest feeling there is.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/261412237267413/
I checked off at least 95 percent of these traits. I see these traits are much different from the text book traits. As I believe its very misunderstood. I have never been diagnosed with aspergers but I am in the processed of being diagnosed and have a appointment in a few weeks. From what I gathered it seems vital to go to someone who has alot of experience in adult aspergers. I am a male and this list very well describes my personality. I wish they used this in the diagnosis! lol I am on disability right now for panic disorder and I have gained so much clarity since I started learning about aspergers just recently and looking forward to getting help.
I have to say that reading your checklist has shocked, disturbed, and relieved me all at the same time. I can identify with about 90% of the things on your list. Growing up, I always felt awkward and out of place, but I excelled academically. I was very quiet and shy, and felt like I just couldn’t find the words to say in order to carry a conversation. People would ask me why I was so quiet and I never really had an answer for them. I was told I was beautiful but never really saw what others saw. I was a prolific writer and could write poems that blew people away.
As I got older, the shyness was an issue with getting a job and/or keeping one. I would recite in my head what I needed to say in a meeting and would clam up when caught off guard with a question that I didn’t have a rehearsed answer for.
I had friends though, but just a few really close ones who seemed to bring the best out in me. But when I wasn’t with them, I reverted back to my shy self.
I begged and pleaded with God to help me to overcome, what I thought at the time were, insecurities. That was from age 13 to 33. I’m now 37 and feel that I’ve outgrown some of the traits you listed, but I still have many of them. I just don’t struggle with them. I feel like I forced myself to fit in better and to not be as shy. I still tend to feel like I’m not from this planet (lol), obsess over song lyrics/poetry/philosophy, can be very naive, get lost in relationships (real & imagined), obsess over the potentiality of love, am sensitive to florescent lighting, and the list goes on to match many of yours. I always thought I was the only person that felt this way and it’s such an incredible discovery to find that I’m not. However, rhetorically, I wonder what is really wrong with any of this? Why is any of this considered bad or something that calls for special attention and/or treatment? I mean, they’re just personality traits, right? I’ve learned to embrace my differences and have become more confident in doing so.
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. You’ve definitely had an impact on so many people, including me.
I haven’t stopped crying since I stumbled on your blog. I joke constantly about having a high functioning form of autism, because I’ve always felt like an alien in a strange world. I keep reading your words and keep muttering “it’s ME!! Somebody understands ME!!”
Thank you for putting into words what I’ve never been able to communicate to others. I’m not lazy and thin skinned, I’m scared/overwhelmed/hurt/confused and this is how I cope in my obsessing/organizing/categorizing/hermiting/analyzing/fantasizing.
Again, thank you.
Thank you for this checklist! I was diagnosed fairly recently, and this checklist reaffirmed my diagnosis. In case anyone was interested in seeing the results of a female diagnosed with AS, here are mine:
Section A: 90%
Section B: 90%
Section C: 60%
Section D: 69%
Section E: 76%
Section F: 100%
Section G: 90%
Section H: 71%
Section I: 93%
Section J: 90%
Executive Functioning: 100%
My daughter has possible Aspergers, I don’t know yet. I am not diagnosed but can take comfort from reading the list, I don’t feel as alone. Thanks.
[...] to “have a slumber party,” made me think, “And who am I supposed to ask?” This list of female Asperger traits fits extremely well with me; I match a large number of points in each [...]
Hi Aspergers Girl,
I am wondering how old you were when you were diagnosed and what prompted you to get a diagnosis.
I was homeschooled abroad always getting at least straight A’s but floundered upon entering public school in Canada. I developed an eating disorder since the numbers associated with food facts gave me a concrete place of safety in the unpredictable environment I was plunged into.
I now am homeschooling my two children and was deeply affected when my son showed signs of ASD. He was assessed and had a lot of deficits that struck close to home with me. He was diagnosed with NLD and Asperger’s overlapping.
It wasn’t until that point that I recognized that his disabilities were so kindred to mine.
I wound up having a nervous breakdown. I thought that I would be diagnosed with something significant since I was cutting and showing eating disordered behaviour. It was simply said that I was highly intelligent and really stressed out.
When I looked at your list (I had already known I was “different”) that I saw that I could see a yes on every item on your list. I remember a guy giving me a dozen roses on valentines day and I didn’t realize that it meant he liked me. I just thought if was a kind gesture. I left them in the bottom of my locker to rot and didn’t get why he was hurt by my actions.
Is it common for girls with ED’s and executive function issues along with anxiety and unfulfilled learning aptitudes to be aspires? Oh, and the NLD factor. I think that is a strange one to swallow. I have heard that it is just an alternative neuro-psychological version of an aspie diagnosis.
My grandma graduated high school when she was fifteen but was known to loose her tea while it was in her hand. My mom was at the top of her mensa class but can’t enjoy reading novels. She and I both just memorize facts. It is overwhelming.
I would appreciate hearing any thoughts you have to offer about this.
Lisa
Wow, you write well.
Yes, comorbid conditions of ASD are anxiety, executive functioning challenges, etc. I drop things all the time and have a hard time reading non-fiction. I would say since your son has Aspergers and you have so many traits that you recognized on this list that there is a possibility you have Aspergers, but I am not a psychologist, and of course haven’t seen or spoken to you in depth. Would you like to join our online facebook support group? Or you can friend me on facebook. See the about author page listed on the left of the blog. Sounds like you have high intelligence in your family that is for certain! I am glad you shared about your self and life and contacted me. I truly enjoyed reading your comment. 
Wishing you abundance and love ~ Sam
I am 50 years old,and finally have found this.This describes me,my entire life.I guess my question now is,what do I do about this? Is there help for it? Thanks for writing this.
I’m 32 year old woman and found your blog a month ago, and as many others here made me realize that I might have an Aspergers. Almost every single point in the checklist applies to me. For all this time I’ve wondered why I do feel as I don’t belong anywhere, and felt overwhelmed by these characteristics in me I thought no one else have. It’s really hard for me to not imitate the accents people use when talking with me, and I’m clumsy and slow, and sometimes I’m the only one who takes the wrong turn in the aerobics class or cannot keep up with the program. I’ve been psychotherapy but I was diagnosed as depressed, highly sensitive, intelligent and stressing too much about what others think of me. I’ve always had something of a vanishing self, I see most things relative, and cannot really make strong opinions. I tend to feel better when I’m abroad. I feel alien in my own country (not US, I live in Europe), and also when I live abroad. But I prefer the latter, as then feeling or acting strangely in social situations in more socially acceptable and even expected. I wonder if there are other aspies who’ve noticed they dwell better when outside their own culture. Also, when I’ve live abroad I’ve been able to create a stronger identity to myself, and I mean not pretending to have one, but actually feel that way.
Thank you so much for writing this blog, I enjoy reading it now every day, and it brings so much comfort to realize I’m not alone
OH thank you so much for this list. It’s like opening a window into my head and seeing what goes where! I absolutely recognize myself in this list. I am a bit of an Internet hypochondriac, but I love that you mentioned the apparent narcissism! – I have been wondering if that’s what it really was. I know, I should get a professional to run tests, etc. but there’s something so satisfying about doing it myself!
wonderful and welcome
Pardon if this posts twice
This list is extremely well thought out and accurate in regards to me and those I know/ have known. May I post a link to this on my website?
links are always fine.
thank you. and you are pardoned…hehe
In the middle of categorizing all my coins I have saved in the past 4 years from my part-time restaurant job, I FOUND this amazing list!!!!
Nothing else could have shifted my zoned-out attention (which is soooo relaxing) from my coins, than such an accurate and comprehensive list of attributes, from which I checked off at least 90% for myself! I am self-diagnosed for 2 years now, and considering to get a diagnosis soon. Bad timing though, since the updated DSM-IV might be less sensitive to mild ends of the spectrum. Anyhow, just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU for taking your time and effort to create this list! Also I am glad I discovered your blog, there is a good chance that I will catch myself reading your archive posts for 1 or 2 hours, driven by my eagerness to feel connected to others. 
And by the way this is officially my very first comment I have ever left on a blog.
Keep it up!!
Have a wonderful evening!!!
I am honored. And love your energy. Coins are cool– Look forward to the connection. And tickled that you took the time to write.
blessings.
Yes!!! This is it…thank you…thank you…thank you Sam!